A. H. Wong

Chapter Six

 

Taylor's Log

 

Entry Date: March the First, 2012

 

Entry Title: Beatrix and Martin—A Good Idea?

 

The pair of them are getting close. I find it interesting, how he grows closer to her still. However, I must admit he views her differently than she does he. I can sense an attraction between the pair, but solely upon Martin's side. He loves her an almost insane amount. That is clear in his every action.

 

I must not continue to be biased. I must ensure my emotions do not change when dealing with Beatrix. I must continue to remain closed off from her, despite my own emotions.

 

Beatrix is beginning to worry me. I should not feel this way, yet I do. She suffers from the same emotional disorders the other members of the seventh floor do—a bit of borderline sociopathy. The combined effects of being molested, and murdering their molesters, has led to a complete breakdown of their emotional capacities. While Beatrix might have a small capacity for love, that capacity is drenched in confusion and neuroses. If she is to ever have a normal relationship, that act will require a great amount of trust and desire.

 

Her partner, therefore, will need to be extremely patient with her. Her sexuality was morphed by her father, so her associations between lust and love have grown very strong. At the same time, however, the very act of physical intimacy will result in her feeling used, wrong, and alone. Naturally, she will have an inclination towards a more 'submissive' personality, as a part of her will always see herself as a sexual object. Her body is young, but it bears the scars. She is also simply too young to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship, as her abuse resulted in her being relatively niave. She will, however, have a deep longing for affection.

 

This is a dangerous reality, as Martin is impatient—but will provide for her all the love she can handle. However, he will push her far faster than it is  safe for her to be pushed; and he will do so without knowing the dangers he is putting her through. He will harm her without realizing the amount of problems he will cause her.

 

He will touch her without him knowing how bad that will make her feel.

 

What Beatrix needs is to be understood, and no one can give that to her.

 

Still, despite saying this, I do not mean to say that this is true for all residents. Take Janelle and Maverick, for instance. The pair of them come from relatively identical backgrounds, at least in terms of their traumatic experiences, but there are massive amount of problems present. Maverick seeks to punish the world through her anger, and Janelle seeks to punish herself through her sexuality.

 

The pair of them, however, are the key couple among the residents. They are the inspiration for future couples, and they will remain so.

 

As long as they do not break up, that is.

 

~

 

Taylor's Log

 

Entry Date: March the Third, 2012

 

Entry Title: Beatrix

 

I was correct in my previously stated beliefs. Her tendency to mistake lust for love is massive, and in a way, quite terrifying. She repeated, in some semblance of phrasing or another, that 'she would do anything for love'. This dangerous viewpoint will likely lead to an increase in sexual activities with Martin, despite her having confessed to telling him to back off.

 

I was, in fact, pleased with her when she told Martin that he had made a mistake by touching her. At the same time, her denial of his advances had come far too late for it to matter. Now that the act has been committed once, I can almost gaurantee that this act of sex will occur once again.

 

Martin is a fool, and he will not back off from her.

 

I must be prepared to handle her neuroses becoming worse.

 

~

 

Master John's Record

 

March 3rd, 2012: Little Young Beatrix

 

Taylor has issues.

 

Now, that's VERY much apparent, but you see--he has issues with Beatrix. He has spoken repeatedly of her, in a way that all but confesses his feelings for her. His words also almost broach subjects I am not allowed to know, including some of the things that he and Beatrix had spoken about in therapy. Now, this is odd—in all the three years he has worked under me, he has never done something like this.

 

I cannot say I am surprised, however.

 

It IS Beatrix he is growing close to.

 

I must admit that I am impressed by her. She is the sole member of the seventh floor that has a shot at being in a relatively normal relationship. Will she still struggle? Will she still hurt? Yes, yes of course she will. Will she ever move past the things done to her? It is entirely likely that she will, at least enough to pursue a regular life.

 

A life that is denied most residents.

 

Kevin included. For all his bravado and charisma, if he is released, he will become nothing more than a doomsday cult leader. I would definitely say that he, if he was released, would die by the gun of a policeman. This of course means that he will not be able to be released. At least, not without being kept under supervision for a good many years.

 

I do hope that none of the seventh floor residents realize they can never escape. While those on the other floors, and in the other buildings, have the great potential for rehabilitation....These people will never know normalcy.

 

They will never know freedom.

 

~

 

Maverick's Bad Diary

 

May 19th, 1997

 

Dear Bad Diary,

 

I think I'm alone here. I think I....I think I'm alone here. I don't want to be alone here, Diary! I don't want to be alone here!

 

Unkie's gone. I dunno where Unkie went. I don't know why he left me, Diary.

 

Why won't he come back to me?

 

~

 

Maverick's Bad Diary

 

June 3rd, 1997

 

Did I really kill Unkie, Diary? I didn't mean to kill Unkie....

 

I just....I just stopped seeing thing, Diary, I just stopped seeing things....

 

I just saw red.

 

Diary, why was Unkie so red?

 

Why are my parents not talking to me, Diary?

 

Why are the police here, Diary?

 

~

 

Janelle's Book of No Importance

 

June 3rd, 1997

 

I'm cold. I'm cold, I'm cold, I'M COLD.

 

I miss home. Home was warm. Home was warm.....

 

I don't like home, though.

 

Home hurt me.

 

Like I hurt Big Bro.